Early Morning Life

When you aren’t a morning person, getting up at 3 am is ROUGH. And getting up at 3am is even harder when you’re going to work and not to do something fun! But, it does allow for me to blog the random thoughts, which I know you enjoy SO much! (She said to the no one reading her blog lol)

So, I’m not sure if I mentioned it before, but Matt is in the Navy Reserves. He recently found a deployment he was interesting in going on. Which is great for him! He was so excited about it. But as any military girlfriend can probably tell you, while I’m happy for him… This massively sucks for me.

If Matt were to get this deployment he would be gone for a year. We are still in a relatively new relations ship. Where does that leave us? But with it being a newer relationship (about 3 months) it feels needy and annoying for me to ask him. “But what about me? What about us?” Just all sounds so needy and clingy, and frankly rather childish. He wants me to keep his dog, so that would imply that we would still be together or what not. And please, don’t get me wrong, there is no way in Hell that I will let him deploy for a year without knowing the answers to these questions.

For one amazing moment I thought that I wouldn’t have to worry about it at all. Matt got an email saying that he wouldn’t be going on this deployment. They explained why, and he was ok with it all. Matt decided to make the transition from reserves to active. He talked with me at some length about why this would be such a good move, not just for him, but for us. It makes me nervous, just because he could get stationed far away. But with what he does in the Navy it seems likely he would stay local. (We have a high Navy population.)

But alas, the next day he received an email stating that he WOULD be going out on the aformentioned deployment. He basically called his cheif and said, “Hey, I recieved an email saying ___________________________, and that I wouldn’t be going. Just wanted to clarify which was correct because I also summited paper work to go back to Active duty. I was just wondering which one it would be.” Basically his commanding officer said “Well, see which one you get first and that’s the one you’ll do.”

GGGGGGGgggggggrrrrrrrreeeeeeeaaaaaaatttttttt. Thanks a lot for that incredibly vauge answer. I’ll go ahead and continue to plan my life on this shifting sand.

I know that none of this is news to anyone who has dated military before. But I have gone out of my way to never put myself in this situation. I don’t date people in the military because I need to know where my life is headed. I struggle to not know the plan. But here I am, falling for this guy, who’s life is so uncertain. Honestly, had I realized he was even in the reserves I’m not sure if I ever would have dated him. It’s just not conducive to my lifestyle. I have a large dog, 2 cats, and 5 horses to think about and move around with me. I have to find places that allow the animals and somewhere for the horses to live every time I move. Harder than you might think.

I never meant to put myself in this situation. Yet, here I am.

Any words of wisdom? How do you all cope with your significant other being gone for long stretches of time? How do you handle being uprooted from time to time? I am so new to all of this, and it can be overwhelming….

bee

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